Disappointment

Feeling utterly disappointed. Upset. Angry. Sad.

The Yunnan trip most likely will be cancelled. After so much of hard work and preparation throughout the year.. this is the ultimate thing which I have been looking forward to. It's sort of like s mini dream.. and now, because of her over-concern for our safety and the very very fatal H1N1. Yeah right.

The dream is broken. I seriously don't care if there s going to be another mini trip to compensate that because it just won't work.

Whenever I think of it, it really pisses me off. Whats so big deal about all this. Seriously. if we were meant to die we will no matter what we do.

so much for preventing the spread of it, why not quarantine all the PRC people? Eventually they will come back and infect us all.

UPSET =(


Maybe, just maybe, there is still hope for a change in decision. Maybe...

PW OVER!

PW is officially over!
I am soooooo happy. Oral Presentation today was quite a breeze. only Jolene kena a question which was not easy to answer... Other than that, it went fine. =)

Oh before that we forgot to print out the slides for the assessors, jolene forgot to bring her entry proof! so it was all a last minute thing to get things done. all of us ran up and down and it was hell tiring.. .luckily things went well..

The group which presented with us was Nat's group. Thats all. It was quite a relief to present to our classmates. haha =)

After that went to eat Pastamania with my PW group and Nat, Denise, Hakim. after that Garret joined us. we went to play Murderer at the garden in T1 (now I know how to use T1!). We played the squeezing hands type. haha quite fun at first. after that it was super boring because I always got the normal citizen card instead of the police or murderer. NOT FUN AT ALL.zzz

Found out that Hakim has a weird sense of humour!!!!! We laughed like crazzzy whenever he cracked some of his weird jokes. can't remmeber. hope i can get it from Jolene or Denise's blog.

Went around window-shopping. It got me quite irritated. Cause at one time someone is shopping for one particular thing. After that person has finished, the next person found something to look for. so it's like an endless thing and we have to keep waiting for people.. ARRGGHH.

The guys waiting for us! they looked superr bored!!


Oh the Adnaan started complaining about how long he has to wait for me for PW meeting cause I take 5 minutes to choose what to wear wear, 5 minutes to tie my hair 5minutes to pack! HAHA! anyway, most girls do that what.

then we started guessing who Hakim likes! HAHAHA! A girl starts with letter A. I wonder who hur. AD?? LOL!!

OHHH. Just remmeber something happened long ago. My PW group was doing project work. Me and Jolene sat beside Adnaan. Then I couldn't help but examinine Adnaan's hairy arm and complained at the same time. HAHA!

Adnaan gave that SUPER annoyed look.

And then Jolene took out a ruler to measure the length of one strand of his hair. LOL!!!!!!!!!

and then, we burst into laughterr. SO FUNNY!!


Nothing much. went home with Gladys. didn't want to go Adnaan house. Was quite tired.

This is the next drama which i may be pursuing. HOHO!
it's called 巾幗枭雄. Anyone knows how to pronounce???????
I just watched finish the first episode. Think it's quite nice. Charmaine told me that it was a hit in Hong Kong last year and my mum watched before so........ =)







Heard that the Yunnan overseas trip may get cancelled. Plus, Gladys told me that her teacher asked them to postpone the printing of publicity stuff and so on.. Today vaccination was cancelled... hais. It got me worried. I really really really don't want the trip to be cancelled. It's all I have been looking forward to. I have already missed out so many things going for the trip I don't want to lose any more things. Can't the principal just make up her mind?? If we were meant to die we would no matter what.. haissss okay I may be talking nonsense but I don't think I am.

Gla and I are going to 'kill' someone if this thing really gets cancelled. GRR. =(

Whatever it is. I shall try not to think about it now.


p.s someone told me that someone has an interest in me worrrrrrr.. =D

Just finished watching episode 15 of Gong Xin Ji. no moe episodes to watch already.. have to wait for more to come =(

Watched until a bit 'pek chek' cause' the story isn't what i want. never mind. I shall see what it will be like in the next few episodes.

Today went back to my secondary school to train the campcraft batch. Gosh. I stood in the sun for super long. now kinda having sunburnt. I can see their potential.. really hope that they could clinch the championship once again like we did. sadly, some of them seem to have a lack of interest in it.. wonder how are we going to make this team together.. hmm. Good news is, Ms nani agreed to let us have a BBQ cum gathering for campcraft teams in previous batches! Now we gotto convince her to use NP fund for that. Doubt she would agree. she's so stingy. haisssssssssss.

Whatever it is, their performance for today continue to spur me on. We shall all work together to push them into the final! =D


After that went to meet my PW mates at Adnaan's mum's clinic. It was closed so we could actually use the place for our project work. However, the place was kindaa eerie.. Leslie attempted to scare me. I swear I wasn't scared at first, not until he mentioned about the poster regarding a cancer woman in her wedding dress which looks SUPER SCARY and then he mentioned something about someone watching us. I know it was stupid i just felt so eerie..

After that playing and fighting and trying to fix the video for pw. rehearsed for one time. went for dinner together.

Gladys they all talked about some guy always going to the toilet to do 'stuff'. I didn't quite understand what the specific stuff is.. they didn't want to tell me yet tried to make fun of me. I was so pissed lah. zzzzzzzz

After that came the hilarious part! I was telling Adnaan that her double eyelids make his eyes look like an ostrich's eye!! HAHA! so funny! Adnaan gave the i-don't-give-a-damn look which was FREAKING FUNNY!!! Then Leslie said something that made me and jolene burst into laughter.He said Adnnan eyelashes could help clean the specs!!! LOL!

Anyway, I remember Jolene and I used to discuss about how everyone from our class would be like in future.. and what are our first impression of them 10 years down the road..

we had a wonderful discussion..
and I concluded that..

My dearest Denise would become a businesswoman aka auntie. Smart and brave but complain a lot. CAn imagine her that with her specs. haha!

Joyce would become a CEO or a boss in some company lah. since she has got the look!

Pamela would be like a super obedient secretary who always takes down notes and looks down very shy and then always have the boss flirting with her.HAHA!

Cynthia also looks like some secretary but is the naughty kind! hahaha instead of jotting down notes bur draw weird pictures and then always sit on the CEO table and flirt with the boss AHEM AHEM. hahaha! bet she's gonna kill me if she reads this.

Yiai has got the look of some boss who opens shop! haha maybe some LEO club or charity organization! =D

Then Shiyin will have the rich man's wife look everytime go shopping buy branded stuff but she's the stingy kind who always bargain for cheaper stuff! =P

Jolene has the rich man's wife look too!! but is that kind who doesn't know hwo to do housechores, everytime wait for hubby to come back home and then start whining and snuggling up to him for love and concern like a baby!

Gladys has got a businesswoman look too! Or maybe lawyer. haha since she speaks so well =P

Nat has got the nobel prize receiver look!! haha so smart anf studious!!

And then.... Adnaan and Leslie will become doctors! Leslie is the kind very concerned for his patients. Adnaan is the kind who is very meticulous! Eg during surgery, ' hmm which knife should I use? this or this which is smaller to cut this artery?' HAHAHA!! by then the patient has died! LOL. (described by Jolene!)

Who else hur..

OH YA! Jianyu! is like the boss of loan shark company every day go pub, smoke and play and collect money. HAHAHA!! he really has the look! But sometimes he has the very kind look too lah. Heard that he wanna open a restaurant or something like that... O.O

Jeremy has got the spy or investigator look! LOL. the kind who works for the government and go around catching people or acting as a bad person!

Clement has got the sportman look or perhaps some office person..... hmm maybe cause' of his specs?

OH Diane looks like some loan shark boss too! hahaha! or some businesswoman who always smirks at her competitors and threaten people! LOL.

and Lastly, Hankuan looks like some MINISTER of something cause' he is so smart and the way he talks really makes me feel like that! HAHA!!

Alright. That's all for this post.
These are just impressions. NO OFFENCE K! =DD

I am gonna read The Host by Stephenie Meyer! Borrowed from Sihui =)

Tomorrow there will be PW meeting at vivo. lazy but can't wait for that too.. OP is coming. Hope everyone could do their best and do it well and score it well! =)

May god bless us.

Good night.


- I feel strange. I feel changes. I feel numb. I don't know how I feel.

Finally we sorted things out. It was a relief I guess. Really wanted to clarify things.

Today was a horrible day. My mood was like a pile of dung because of my messy hair. aarrghh. Couldn't stand it so in the end i went to cut my hair =D

Spent 20bucks on hair cut. Didn't mind to pay more. At least the hairdresser cut my hair with care and skill as if every strand of hair is made of gold, unlike last time the hairdresser, she cut my hair like CUTTING DOG'S FUR! At least now my hair becomes less fuzzy and I have transformed from a road cleaner auntie to a PRINCESS!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHAA..

All of a sudden my day is full of hope HAHA! finally, tomorrow I can present OP with confidence LOL. =DD


Currently addicted to Heroes, however I have watched finished all the episodes and now have to wait for the next episode for season4.......... arrghh waiting is horrible!

Luckily, I get addicted to another series of Hong Kong Drama called 宫心计! Sadly, it doesn't have a complete series of episodes yet. It's just too new and is showing in Hong Kong.

All my favourite actresses and actors are in the drama!!!! HOHO!
It's the first time that 杨怡 was acting as a bad person! CAn't wait to watch finish. now i am on episode 3!

WAITING FOR OP TO BE OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!!!!!

Boring OP

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo bored. currently in classroom 111....SO FREAKING COLD.
the OPs are so boring now..... T.T

today my hair made me look so ugly =( I am gonna cut my hair after school. Dearest Gladys will be following me =D

Denise is so cute =D
I am kinda jealous cause' she's so nice to Nat..
Wonder what it would be like for my birthday next year. =/

SO BOREDDDD...... Hankuan s group is presenting the SECOND TIME for today.... feel like sleeping................................

okay. bye for now.

HI JINYI. UR HAIR VELI UGLY TODAY. HAHAHAHA.
BUT THE PERSON STILL CUTE LA.
OMG DONT SECRETLY HAPPY AND FLY TO THE MOON BECAUSE I CALL U CUTE.
IF GO TO THE MOON BRING BACK SOME STARS FOR ME.
THEN I CAN MIX WITH HONEY AND MAKE HONEY STARS.
THANKS, will be waiting for my honey stars.
<3 GODSIS aka JOLENE (:

ANGRY POST

Today had fun working with my PW mates, doing OP the whole day..

I love my pw mates. Naggy Gladys. Super fierce Adnaan.. Very nice leslie! Whiney Jolene. and me! we are gonna be working together for Econs project again =)

happy day always comes with some unhappy stuff.


really really really cannot stand hypocrites, knowing that everyone bounds to have their own facade but THIS IS REALLY TO THE EXTREME.

Being nice when confronting you but talks bad behind you. WOW. you really have got a master for hypocrisy which perhaps I should learn from hur?

AAARGGHHH really cannot stand people like this. I would much prefer someone who speaks up her mind like Diane to you.

Please get out of my life.
You will.

Today was a horrible day. Something went wrong. I don't know why. First, there was this surge of disappointment.. and then anger.. and slowly it turned out to be a complete recklessness..

I felt like a spoilt brat. Gave up on GP lesson and just lay my head on the table and slept. The relief teacher called my name 3 times.. it was annoying. I knew I was wrong, but I just couldn't care.

broke my promise and I didn't go for water polo training. didn't really inform anyone, especially Lijing who actually supposed to go together with me.. I am sorry.. I guess I have failed to commit in the very first step.

Just loathe it when I have given someone my trust and secret but what I have in return does not equate to what I have given out. Perhaps I think too much. I can't help but doubt that kinda friendship. It was really a disappointment. and then, I was in rage.

I guess I am just selfish hur. Too bad I do not have that kind of magnanimity now. Maybe I have changed. Maybe I simply choose to protect my pride then.

Maybe I am just evil.. that a part of myself is never to be the same anymore. Especially to you.
Or maybe, I am actually not that evil?

Whatever. I am keeping cool now.
It drains me to fight against every thought and feelings that I have today. good or bad. For now, I'll leave them to fight against themselves.



Since Jolene went to find the old photo albums... I did the same =)
I love these memories. Sweet yet painful.
It's never coming back. although I have cried calling for it.
hmm.. how I wish I could be like 'Hiro'. Time traveler =)
how I wish I could travel back to 10 years ago and have a longgg chat with my dearest grandpa..
how i wish I could travel back to time and save my dog.
how I wish I could stop time so that no one leaves me..


Here. photos are randomly uploaded.


I found this. they were so freaking young and good-looking.. how sweet =)

and this, so cute.. =D


Below is my first ever naked photo! wonder who took it.. Realised that when I was young, i didn't dare to close the door whenever I bathed. I was quite timid i guess. and thats when someone got the chance to take a shot like this!

My QQ. Our QQ. Died when i was in primary 5/6. Don't ask me why I have such immense feelings for her. I just do. She's simply not an ordinary pet.

She is a family member. A sister. A great friend.
She is smart. Her eyes talk. I swear i can still remember her eyes..

I remember, when I was young and I played with her. I always wondered what she was thinking all the time.. what she wanted to tell me but couldn't.. and then, I began to have this silly dream, I want to be able to talk to animals.. isn't it cool huh?

It felt great to bring her out alone for a walk when I was just a young a girl with a size and weight much lesser than hers. cause' the children in the neighbour would always look at me with this curious or perhaps envious eyes. and i liked that.

In contrast, it's my turn to feel jealous to see that my friends actually have a dog so cute.. I do. but I am always proud of QQ. she's someone special. someone that can never be replaced. =)



This is my mum when she was 18! so pretty and cute just like ahem... haha =)


and above.. my aunt's wedding. My grandpa was still alive at that time, the one who doted on me most.. the one who I am missing badly now.. knowing that he's looking at me now somewhere.. and perhaps wanting to scold me for being so evil and spoilt..

I can still remember the wedding event. I was half happy and half sad.. knowing that my aunt's gonna get married to my uncle and she's no longer mine. Worse, now she is having 2 children and they are twins.. no more attention from her, but my attention for the two of them..


and here, this photo is like a fairytale.. you can guess who they are.

my papa! *love*

and this.. a complicated relationship between these people..


Things have changed so much..
sadly, time never stop.



that's all for this post.
tomorrow there is OCIP for the whole day..................
gotto sleep early le.
Good night.

It's 4:30am..... and I am awake...

Sports CArnival & Night Cycling

just a short post before I go to sleep. Tired to the max. had a 2 hour nap after I reached home. Didn't sleep for approx 24 hours. When I was in the bus heading home, I was so worried that I might faint!! Just goddam tireddddd...

Inter-PDP games were fun, good oppoortunity for team bonding. After that there was night cycling for me. They cut short the route due to shortage of time and we managed to complete approx 100km from 8plus evening till the next morning 5 plus 6.

It was real fun in the beginning, but believe me, after that it was disastrous because what it hurts isn't how tired your legs are. It doesn't really matter to me. It matters is my ass.. and it felt like heaven just to lift it up from the seat.

our group ICs were rather nice to us. Kenneth and Kaqi.. forgot his name. Overall, it was just unforgettable. esp with Pamela's expression =)

Nvrm. don't wanna post about it now. wanna upload photos.

Inter CG games were no fun at all. I am sorry I didn't want to contribute.. Kena caught by Mr tong with Denise for wearing slippers as we came out from the bathroom. How lucky that can be..

Wrote a letter of reflection to him after that and was utterly surprised and relieved that he decided not to give us detention! he even gave us chocholate... =) Guess its cuz two of us are just too attractive hur? =)

oh yeah so inter CG games, our class didn't really participate anything. All the sportsmen and women just disappeared due to night cycling, Titans, help out in sports carnival.. so it turned out our class did quite badly for every game but i did't give a damn due to my bad mood.. and now I regret.

It's not my fault. It was the day I looked forward to because I know our class could do it. It just didn't turn out alright.

Never mind. It's over. tomorrow OCIP will take up my whole day and pw on sunday. Monday will be a horrible day. I strongly believe.

for now, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.


I am not in love with you.
Let's just quit this stupid 'invisible' conversation for now.

Tired..

watched Heroes till 4am.. woke up at 815am to continue watching.. Thanks to Jolene for making me addicted. there's no cure, apparently. went for OCIP cornflakes making later in the afternoon.. reached home at 1040........zzz there goes my day.

tomorrow. there is school, it means i have to wake up early...... arrgghh! hate it.. TJC is so kiasu. shouldn't we have a two day holidays aka marking days??? thats so unfair..

never mind.
Playing with yongxi in msn now. what a disappointment. there's no fun........zzz

hais. alright. good night. i didn't watch Heroes 2 tonight.. supposed to watch that but nvrm... its late..

Saya berasa amat kecewa dengan sendiri.. juga berasa kecewa dengan kamu.. Saya percaya bahawa perasaan ini bukan benar.. hubungan kami rapat kerana kamu BFF saya betul?